Ever wonder why you shut down when things get hard, even when you really care? Let’s talk about the real reason why we pull away, self-sabotage, or go into hopelessness the moment we feel unseen or unsafe. We’re not bad people. And we’re definitely not broken. It's because there are tender, scared, overwhelmed parts of us that were never comforted when connection got hard. If we don’t learn how to love them, we’ll never be able to love someone else through the inevitable moments of disconnection that come up in relationship, either.